the one where mingyu and wonwoo finally reunite in their dear home

— an excerpt from the minwon exes au

Wonwoo rolled his eyes upon hearing that, attempting to act unfazed kahit na gusto nang kumawala ng luha sa mga mata niya. It’s a concoction of emotions—saya na nandito na ulit siya, takot sa mga susunod na pangyayari, at gulat na pinili niya na naman si Wonwoo.

Tama nga si Seungkwan, Mingyu’s choice will always be Wonwoo.

And it doesn’t have to be a bad thing like how he’s claiming it to be.

Nagtitigan lang sila sa tapat ng pinto for ten minutes na parang tanga, probably because they both are still trying to sort their emotions out, both still in disbelief na they’d be standing like this in front of each other again.

“Para kang tanga,” Wonwoo managed to say despite his voice faintly cracking.

Imbes na mainis, ngumiti lang si Mingyu, because he knew better than to take that personally. Not letting any complaints from Wonwoo, pumasok na lang si Mingyu sa loob nang walang kahit anong paalam, but also not like he needed to kasi binabayaran niya rin naman ‘tong share niya sa dorm.

Hindi alam ni Wonwoo kung saan pupunta si Mingyu, so he mindlessly just followed him from behind, looking like a tame cat waiting for its owner. Huminto si Mingyu sa kusina at saka kumuha ng baso ng tubig. He went to Wonwoo after para ibigay ‘yun, to which he was responded to lang ng isang angat ng kilay out of confusion.

“Mag-uusap tayo.”

“I know that, pero para saan ‘yung tubig?”

Mingyu shrugged. “Just because.”

Wonwoo once again rolled his eyes at that pero dinala na lang niya rin ito nang maupo silang dalawa sa sofa. They both spent a few minutes of silence again bago nag-initiate si Wonwoo.

“So, are you back for good?”

Mingyu hummed. “Siguro, depende sa outcome ng pag-uusap na ‘to.” He let out a laugh after, and Wonwoo snickered because wala namang nakakatawa sa sitwasyon nila. Halos masuka-suka na nga siya sa pwesto niya.

Mingyu, on the other hand, shifted on his seat, na para bang nakaisip na siya ng ibabatong tanong. “And you. Miss mo ako?”

Wonwoo chewed on his lips, trying to bite down the nervousness he’s feeling before answering, “oo.”

“Mahal mo pa ako?”

Malala pa yata ‘tong si Mingyu kaysa kay Tito Boy kung magtanong, but Wonwoo’s trying not to go against him kasi deep down, he’s appreciating this inquisitive behavior of Mingyu. It felt different from the Mingyu he was fearing before, the one na sobrang dependent sa kanya, the one who never really fought for them kasi si Wonwoo lagi ang nasusunod for him. But this time he’s making a move, he’s not waiting for Wonwoo anymore. Maybe because he badly wanted it enough din, and somehow, it felt much better.

This is the Mingyu that Wonwoo exactly wants.

So with full pride, he replied. “Oo.”

Napahugot nang malalim na hininga si Mingyu, probably not expecting a direct answer. “Okay.”

“And you?”

“I still do,” Mingyu said, giving him a small smile. “I always do naman.”

Magsasalita na sana si Wonwoo, but Mingyu beat him up to it.

“I realize everything you have said before are right. Na I was too dependent sa’yo. Within the times na nagbreak tayo, I actually gained a lot of perspectives and started to love myself more, started to consider what I really want, and it felt more freeing.” He laughed. “But I realized din na it’s just the people pleaser in me, and that I don’t have to please you all the time kasi you’d always understand me, anyway. For some reason, I have felt your love more nu’ng nagbreak tayo, and how deeper it actually is.”

Napatingala si Wonwoo, trying to stop his tears from falling, but eventually failing.

Parang tanga. He only ever wished for Mingyu to figure out on how to be his own person, but God is Wonwoo so loving. Merely because he can’t stop doing so. Na kahit magbreak pa sila ng sampung beses, as long as Mingyu is within his sight, he’ll do everything for him. Everything they do—it goes around.

And so the overdependence isn’t the one to mourn about, but rather it’s the codependency that they have developed is the one that they should celebrate. It’s quite ironic, figuring how to have a good relationship while being split up.

But the bottomline is, they both were able to figure things together, right?

So what comes after?

‘Yan na lang din ang tanong ni Wonwoo sa ngayon.

Nagpunas ng luha si Wonwoo, wanting to see more of Mingyu in a clearer perspective. “I’m sorry… for hurting you.” Napasinok siya saglit kaya kinuha niya ang baso ng tubig na inabot sa kanya ni Mingyu. And it did annoy him. How Mingyu just knew that Wonwoo would cry in the middle of their talk, and that he would hiccup because that’s just how he is every time he cries hard.

Umiling si Mingyu habang nagcocontemplate kung lalapitan na ba niya ang isa because he wanted to wipe those tears so bad, but in the end, he settled on his seat na lang. “It was needed. Our relationship would’ve been worse if tinuloy pa natin. And besides, it helped us grow. And sorry din, if I did not try to fight for us.”

“Ikaw na nga nagsabi.” Wonwoo replied, the hiccups slowly going away. “We’re bound to break up. It’s fine, at least we know better now,” He showed him a tipped smile.

Ngumuso si Mingyu sa kabilang banda ng sofa at saka binuksan ang kanyang mga braso. Umusog papalapit si Wonwoo sa kanya at ibinagsak ang sarili sa katawan ni Mingyu. Agad namang ibinalot ni Mingyu ang kanyang mga braso kay Wonwoo nang sobrang higpit, sinasalamin ang ilang buwan na paghahangad sa isa’t isa.

“Namiss kita,” bulong ni Mingyu bago pinunasan ulit ang mga pisngi nito at tinadtaran ng maraming halik.

Wonwoo whined, but not that he disliked any of the kisses he was receiving. He held onto his shirt na lang, craving for his warmth na ang tagal niyang hindi nalasap. Tangina, namiss niya rin ‘to. Oo, they’ve still spent time together kahit na break na sila, except there aren’t much physical interactions kasi after all, mag-ex na sila.

“OA na, mamumula na cheeks ko niyan.”

Mingyu chuckled and went to nuzzle his neck instead. “Life was so dull without you.”

“It isn’t life… without you,” Wonwoo said hesitantly, medyo nahihiya sa banat niya, but it was actually what he felt through the days na wala si Mingyu sa dorm. Sobrang senseless. Not in a manner na walang gumagawa ng mga bagay for him, but it felt so different. He has nothing to talk to over the smallest things na nangyari sa kanya, or mga fixations niya na only Mingyu would understand.

Perhaps they really did break up without the intent of moving on from one another, kasi no matter how many times they deny it, they can barely go on a day without the other.

Mingyu snaked his arms around Wonwoo’s waist, letting it rest there, like how it used to be. Like how it always should be. “Tayo na ba ulit?”

“After a week,” biro ni Wonwoo kahit na gustong-gusto na rin naman na niya sunggaban si Mingyu ngayon din, pero dahil kakaayos pa lang nila, maybe they really should let each other breathe first.

“Tagal.”

Wonwoo laughed and pinched Mingyu’s cheek. “You were able to do it for months, kaya mo rin for a week.”

Mingyu made a face, pero still ended up smiling. Right, what’s another one week of no label kahit na para naman silang tanga na umaakto na magjowa, ‘di ba?

“Also,” Wonwoo said, facing Mingyu now properly as he brought himself further towards him. “Nagselos ka ba kay Minghao no’n?”

“Parang tanga,” Mingyu snickered. “Sobra.”

Wonwoo let out a giggle, para siyang magkakacute aggression kay Mingyu. “I really did genuinely try with him. Pero I was just thinking of you nu’ng time na ‘yun. And Joshua."

Natawa na lang si Mingyu. “We’re just friends.”

“Ows? You wanted to fuck him.”

Napairap si Mingyu upon hearing that. “It was a joke.” Wonwoo gave him a suspiscious look kaya tumango ulit si Mingyu to assure him. “Oo nga, ikaw lang—aray!” Hinimas ni Mingyu ang braso niya na kakahampas lang ni Wonwoo.

Hiniga na ulit ni Wonwoo ang ulo niya sa dibdib ni Mingyu, letting himself rest, not only for a moment, but also for the restless nights of thinking how he could’ve salvaged their relationship, but alas! He managed to. They have managed to.

Kahit anong mangyari, kay Mingyu at kay Mingyu nga lang talaga siya uuwi. At si Wonwoo pa rin ang tahanan na babalikan ng isa.

“Wait…” Umayos saglit ng upo si Wonwoo. “So, why were you planning to buy me a ring?” He dared to ask, raising his brow. Ilang araw din siyang binagabag no’n, but he convinced himself na lang na Mingyu was just messing with him since gano’n naman lagi ang bonding nila. Mag-gaguhan.

Mingyu wrapped his hand around Wonwoo’s fingers, feeling the delicateness in it. He gave him a soft smile before answering, “I already did.”